I was talking to one of my best girlfriends, a very successful and brilliant woman who loves what we teach and has her own sharp insights after working around men, in a male dominated industry for a long time. We were talking about how often men propositioned women in the business world for fleeting trysts that never meant anything and how she would always see the same recurring theme. A man would come into town, take a woman out, wine and dine her and then disappear.
The woman would spend a couple of dates in and sleep with him and think she had fallen in love. For men the fantasy is in the moment, for women the fantasy would begin the moment the man left. Both projecting on to each other their fantasies, and not reality. It would go like this: Man takes woman out on date, tells her he's never met anybody like her, lavishes wining and dining, they have a great weekend and then come Monday it's back to reality for him, and for her it's the start of her fantasy....
"Is he the one?"
"I am in love!"
"I've never met anyone like him."
It's "deal" sex, as my friend from Wallstreet put it. Now you can be tempted to think men are wrong for doing this—but they aren't any more wrong or right, than women pining, obsessing and fantasizing afterwards.... They are the two sides of the same coin—projection of fantasies instead of reality. He throws caution to the wind in front of a beautiful face, she throws caution to the wind by filling in the gap of whatever isn't there when he is gone. Whatever isn't there: Consistent pursuit, actually knowing the guy, courtship, etc.
This is SO dangerous ladies! This is why pacing in dating is vital and crucial! This is why a High Value Woman does not early attach! She knows how to keep herself grounded, high value, confident, receiving—and date her way into the best romantic decision of her life-w here her well-being is her top priority. A High Value Woman learns to make the best choices for herself—and isn't lead by instant gratification....
So repeat after me:
"It's a man's high value, invested consistent actions (not words) towards me over a period of time that determine whether I will commit to him."
Pacing is your best friend—instead of deal sex as my friend so eloquently described all of this in our conversation today. Get REAL DEAL Relationships... love you!
You are always loved,