When a guy has been really unhappy in a relationship or marriage- and he ends it through breaking up or getting a divorce, pulling away, becoming distant etc......- the primary thing he feels is relief.....
He was just freed from a prison- because to a man very unhappy in a relationship it feels like a prison- men aren't afraid of commitment, they are afraid of entrapment-
And the thing is- the way we often do relationships and marriages as women are highly controlling on men-
Typical behaviors like being overly clingy, needy, self absorbed, flying off the handle, having reactive moods, demanding more and more than he can even give, not making sure his needs are also met by competing with his work, friends, family or social life....etc...
It happens A LOT. I know because I see it all of the time.
Men have work to do, and so do we as women- so we can both become healthier partners.....
Today I am addressing this issue.....
When a man breaks up with a woman, and she wants him back, if the love was real there is a strong possibility she might get him back if she follows the high value woman way----->however if she does ANY of the following she is almost guaranteed to lose him......
- After the breakup, she blows up his phone and email trying to think of any way to create communication (the number one thing he is wanting is his freedom back, his freedom from being forced, cajoled, pressured, made to carry emotional out of control emotions, absorbed and drained- give him space and lean back)......
-Disagree with his reasons for breaking up. The more a woman disagrees, the more invalidated and unseen a man will feel and be reaffirmed in his decision to ends things.... just agree, acept where he is at, set him free.
"yes things weren't great between us, how did they affect you?" Instead of "yes things weren't great between us, but how dare you just leave without trying?" (invalidating) OR "Things weren't that bad, I don't understand why you make such a big deal of things like me not giving you space."
-Seek out common spots where he goes like his gym, his work friends, his space and begin to encroach on them (controlling, invasive, entrapping).
-Get his family involved by calling them to tell them about what happened or telling his friends (encroaching on his face, entrapping him).
-Trying to stay on his radar by stalking his social media and crafting an image on yours that is sending him messages.
-Changing yourself into what you think he wants (women do this one all the time and it backfires and repels attraction)= changing dress, hair, social life, spirituality, or presenting a performance on social media or anything that may indicate anything but a geniune expression of who you are.
-Losing self control and going on an out of control party and hookup binge (to numb the pain but also to be a damsel in distress in need of rescue, or to try to make him jealous -won't work if he ended the relationship because he was done with games, unhappiness and drama- in fact you will be the farthest thing from his mind at this time- and by you I mean your shadow- the part of you that only knows love through manipulation, entrapment and obligation (don't worry, we all have it and I teach about this in depth at the Embodied Feminine Woman Institute.)
and ofcourse NUMBER ONE------>
Not doing the work to become a a high value woman, feminine energied and a healthy partner which was the root of the problem to begin with..... a woman that can sustain a relationship at a high level emotionally- recognizing and healing dysfunctional patterns of relationship entrapment that created an environment of unhappiness for him in which he wanted to leave and not return- communication, space, etc etc.
If you want to know what actually TO DO that works like magic to pull a man back, comment I'm interested below and I may create a standalone product to answer all of your questions in depth- on how to be adored like the queen you are and become so magnetic he comes back toy claim you forever.