Date Like a Feminine Queen and it All Comes To You

"Gio I just got off the third call with him today, he is in Switzerland in a business meeting. Gio every time he used to go on business trips I would maybe receive an email from him when he arrived (and I would be texting him, following up with him and feeling very anxious) and now he checks in with me every day, calls several times a day, often talking for over an hour and a half! It almost feels like he never even left, like he is right here by my side.

So many things were going wrong Gio and now the change is tremendous! Now I have finally learned to say no, to have boundaries and to feel magnetic from my heart!

I never chase him, and he always calls me without fail, he always searches me out, he always comes to ME. I speak my mind and he loves me more for it!!! Gio the funniest thing… my ex husband of 4 years is now trying to get back with me TOO!!! I feel like everyone in my life sees the change and my energy becomes so magnetic they all want a piece of it! I told him after 10 years it was way too late, but he is still trying?!!!

“It is amazing Gio, my boyfriend said to me a week ago that he was more in love than ever, that he can't get enough of me. He said to me that I have become a piece of him, of his soul. It is like we have found our rhythm for the first time. He told me that he has found happiness for the first time in his entire life. Gio are the ultimate master heart healer—I don't know how you did it, but you are truly the best relationship expert in the world!"  

S. E. 42 London

An Embodied Queen is a woman whose natural state (the way of being most natural to her) is magnetism, radiance and brilliance. Everything comes to her.


You are always loved,


- Gio

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Your Degree of Difficulty as a Woman

So often in life when we have feelings for a man who has shown us not to have the same feelings for us—and we "stay" there (maybe for years)... The real problem here is not unrequited love, it is powerlessness.

We don't believe we have options, we are wanted, truly desired and powerful enough to create what we want in life—so we bank all of our worth and happiness on another human being—and this is what is known as neediness.

We live year after year, in a state of internal powerlessness otherwise knowns as the Low Value Woman.

Women who feel internally powerless (without true worth) have to play a lot of games to create what I call "false tension"

This game playing distracts from the fact that after a while she won't be able to hide her low sense of self worth—it will come out in reactivity, drama, controlling and obsessive "crushing" on the man.

So women get really hung up on "dating rules" should I say this? or not say that?" When the truth is—if they had powerful self-value—sure dating guidelines and boundaries would be helpful, but not determinant.

All the qualities a man wants would be there, instinctually coming out from her inner radiance, feminine power and authenticity.

This is when you play by all of the dating rules and then you see quality man after quality men crazy and head over heels for a woman who seems to break all of the rules...

A high Value woman:

She wouldn't walk on eggshells, she would fearlessly express herself.

She wouldn't keep being attracted to a man who isn't attracted to her.

She wouldn't be waiting for his approval or validation—she is giving it to herself.

She would be willing to walk away because she knows she is desirable to many other men.

And being desirable to many other men is SOMETHING YOU CULTIVATE in your life, and no it isn't easy to do on your own... (and in my upcoming institute I will show you exactly how, step by step.) So a woman who shows up High Value—well you will see a man throw out the rule book for this woman.... So all of the energy that you are putting on obsessing about this guy—watching what you say or don’t say, all of the hours spent thinking about him You need to now focus on building powerful self value, desirability and "degree of difficulty." Men feel your energy—you can't hide. A woman who is self abandoning won't hide for long behind game playing—a man will pick up on it and move on.You have to do the work you know you need to do. This is what I teach my clients and who embody this and see outrageous results in their love lives and this is what I want to teach you. Join us early next year for the Launch of my Embodied Feminine Woman Institute, where a group of women will boldly walk next to you as you transform into the High Value Woman you know you are.

You are always loved,

- Gio

Your degree of difficulty as a woman = I am a woman with options, therefore I do not latch on to a guy hopelessly in love before he has proven to be the right man for me. This means I lean back in my worth and keep receiving from men until the right man wins me over.

Photo Credit: toneitup.com

Photo Credit: toneitup.com

Men Can’t Read Our Minds

So, what would healthy  love do? Ladies, one big mistake we make is assume Men know how to love us

So when a guy messes up he can either receive grace and guidance or rejection and punishment from us. We go to punishment as a first option so very often it wrecks love and attraction fast.

The problem is when we think that mess up is a rejection or lack of love from him to us.

Assuming he already knows how to love you will have him feeling like he constantly disappoints that expectation (a man needs to know HOW to win with you.)

Love guides, fear demands, Love meets us where we are, fear constantly makes him fall short.

A High Value Woman accepts, rejects and lets a guy know how to win with her—she doesn't chase, lean forward, step in for him, pursue, fix but she knows how to have men with win her.

You are always loved,

- Gio

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Low Value is Anything That Does Not Provide VALUE in Relationships

So for example:

Playing games

Minimal investment: Don't bring much to the table by way of energy, time, conversation, investment, commitment, friendship, support, value, etc.

Talking only about yourself (I get told this a lot by women, men ask her questions, make it about her) vs listening and wanting to learn about a person

Emotionally unavailable—you can be charming, but be incredibly emotionally shut down and unavailable, usually charm lasts only so long before problems arise....

What this means is that you attract what you give—you will attract men and women who play games (bc of intimacy fears),

You will attract men/women who have minimal investment—the non-committal man or the highly needy woman (her minimal investment is in her self responsibility)

You will attract men and women that are only out for themselves but are a match to you being only about yourself—they will also have an agenda with you, want to use you, it will just take a little longer to come out.

HIGH Value attracts partners go Highest Value—and it takes solidity in all ways to attract solidity back—there is no fulfillment without solid substance, character and a real high quality person!

Men—be confident, be open, be direct, listen and get to know her, create a plan, lead.

Women—be confident, be open, be warm, listen and get to know him, lead with your heart.

You are always loved,

- Gio

Photo Credit: wildwildwestindians.tumblr.com

Photo Credit: wildwildwestindians.tumblr.com

Addiction is one of the easiest ways to get out of balance… and we can get addicted to anything, anytime.

When we are addicted, our focus goes on to one thing as the sole place we get most of our needs met:

Social Media Obsession (being on all day)

A man (Pining and obsessing about him all the time)

An infatuation (I can't live without him even though I just met him)

A relationship (I have no identity except through him)

Being a mother (My entire identity is my children)

Work (My whole life is my company or my job)

And that focus is taken OFF everything else.

And because we have a lot of needs, if our focus is on one thing, we either expect that one thing (or one man) to meet all of our needs, OR we neglect our needs and we become self-neglected...

Our health goes out the window—and we become tired, fatigued, broken down, irritable, unhappy, nervous wrecks… and we slowly begins to burnout.

Anytime we are burning more than we are putting in—we go into debt… and debt is NEEDINESS. We start to feed off of everyone around us, the man we are dating more than we should, we take, we drain, we show up irritable, self centered, and off centered.

And when we are in neediness ladies, we give more than we take and that breaks down relationships, love, intimacy and attraction...

Who is attracted to someone who is always needing validation, approval, etc.?

So Balance is the recognition that addiction can happen any time… and as soon as we are out of balance we become needy and EVERY AREA OF OUR LIFE begins to go into chaos, neglect, burnout, breakup, etc.

Balance is a key word for me in 2019… as I live a lifestyle where I prioritize self care, health, wellbeing, balance, needs met, rest, service, work, creativity, and all the other needs I have as a woman.

High Value Women Prioritize Balance

What areas in your life need your self care and attention to bring you back to fullness, health and balance?

You are always loved,

- Gio

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Don't regret it, just get bigger and better...

The best revenge is to diffuse the need to revenge and refocus all of your energy on having everything you desire and want.

Recently in conversations with clients things like these would come up:

But I gave him so much—and now I want to take it back.

But she benefited so much by being with me, I feel used.

And while we never bypass those emotions, we process them and learn to be with them—I want to offer you a thought. The core pain here is the feeling of being replaced and left behind. Of being used and then discarded… and the focus is off our own power of creation which is in you at all times.

At all times you can (after processing and being with your emotions) move your focus into creating for yourself… opening doors for yourself, getting bigger and better.

The best revenge is a well lived, extremely fulfilling life—full of self-forgiveness, lessons learned and achieved expansion, joy, love relationship and so much more...

This is the secret alchemy of transmuting fear into creation and power.

If you are afraid of being left behind—refocus and move forward at higher speeds with more powerful direction. Create for yourself without waiting for anyone to acknowledge.

Be happy you gave to them, be happy they benefited, and now give to yourself, create openings and expand. Healthy things grow and blossom.

You are never replaceable to your own soul and from your soul comes the power of life to create, care for you, and attract to you everything you desire.

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Is he pulling away a bit because he has things going on?

Ladies—let's talk about ebb and flow of life

In life, and in ALL relationships, you will have weeks where you feel close, periods where you are intensely into each other, and weeks where you both are feeling empty and like you barely make it through.

This is when it is pivotal to have outside sources of nourishment (outside of the relationship).

There will be moments your man simply can't be there for you like normal—he is pulled in a lot of directions—and this may happen in the week where you needed him MOST.

This is where you need to look at the overall trajectory of the relationship—is he a man that IS there for you? If so and this is an off week.

As hard as it feels, it's time to seek other sources of nourishment and support.

Talk to a qualified girlfriend.

DO THE 10 QUESTIONS EVERY DAY! (for ladies in the institute)

Exercise.

Do fun things that light you up.

Have a platonic man funnel.

Talk it through in therapy or in coaching sessions.

Those triggers flare up and feel so real—but do NOT act on them. A man has to feel that there can be ebb and flow, and he can have a limited ability to be there for you and he won't be abandoned, punished or mistreated.

Just like a girlfriend of yours will have weeks on and weeks off. It happens in all of our relationships.

When this happens, it's time to focus 100% on you.

Once you move through the trigger—and feel into the pain behind, and connect with your soul, the intensity will move through you like the clouds in the sky, like rain cooling down your soul and you will come back to the irresistible core inside of you of the woman whom this man is so in love with.

It only happens when you give your soul the love, compassion and support it needs so badly at that time.

Ebb and flow is normal—expect it, don't react. Look at the trajectory and give your soul what it needs.

If he is off, it doesn't mean you lose your center otherwise you will show up volatile in the relationship and emotional after will go out the window. Center into yourself, we've taught you how in the institute.

You are always loved,

- Gio

Photo Credit: hertrack.com

Photo Credit: hertrack.com

The Feminine Art of Receiving

Quality men are deeply attracted to women who know how to receive well from them and reward them with feminine appreciation—it is totally safe to receive from a good man. Remember that Goddess!

"I want a woman that receives from me," said a male friend to me recently. This is what men tell me all of the time.

Giving is masculine, receiving is Feminine. When we are in our masculine energy as women we can get stuck in the "giving pit" where we are the ones giving to a man through the masculine. We put his needs first, above ours, you try hard to show up as the perfect, trophy, girlfriend material so he will be convinced you are the "one", we walk on eggshells, do things for him we know a girlfriend would before he has claimed us as one... this is called the giving pit. We are giving to HIM instead of receiving and responding to him.

Men deeply crave for Feminine energy in women—and for a woman who knows how to receive HIM. To receive him as a man, receive his masculine energy and his gifts. A large majority of women nowadays take on masculine energy and ARE CLOSED off to receiving from men and they aren't aware of it (and this is often due to self-'worth issues, fear, insecurities and not understanding how to receive from men).

This has men lose interest, close off and pull away—as they go elsewhere to find receptive, Feminine energy. Think of a woman's body… her body receives a man's into hers.

Masculine energy needs Feminine receiving energy to feel loved and seen as a Man.

A man can feel right away if a woman is open and receptive and in her Feminine energy—or if she is guarded, masculine and going to compete with him. Men share how they pick this up from women simply by seeing them across the room.

Being open to a man, receptive, allowing—is Feminine energy.

A man needs to know that a woman will receive what he has to offer her.

In our upcoming Embodied Woman Institute—I will teach you to master the Art of receiving From Men, and you will see how drastically this changes how men act and give to you… and how they step up all around you as they feel magnetically drawn to  you.

I have female clients tell me, "I didn't even ask and he jumped to figure out what I needed."

Feminine receptivity has the power to pull on his heart as a Man like nothing else.

Your Feminine receiving energy is the Key to effortlessly attracting the love, devotion and commitment you desire from a quality Man.

Men have a radar for open, allowing, receptive Feminine women—and knowing this is the key for men around you to begin drastically responding to you differently—they begin to SEE you as a Woman like never before and feel drawn to show up as Quality Men for you.

If you haven't yet going over 500 women on the waitlist—we'd love to have you!

You are always loved,


- Gio

Photocredit: @kellymaker

Photocredit: @kellymaker

Let Him Help You

I see this over and  over—when a guy can serve you, help you, fix something for you… when he can listen to your heart and emotional world as you seek him out to share your heart… and to need his presence...

He is made to feel like the Man that is there to help you...

It is a potent way of having a Man feel intense feelings for you. He feels seen as a Man, very deeply and this feels like love for him.

So learning to allow a man to help you, receiving from him, being feminine when he doesn't give to you the right way by sharing vulnerably and non-aggressively how you need his help, showing appreciation (authentically because you did allow him to help you)...makes a man feel like a MAN… like a Super Man.

I see this all the time with the men in the my life, not to mention my partner. When a Man feels he cannot help a woman, can't make her happy, she places burdens and expectations on him which he can't meet or ever win at his heart slowly begins to feel smaller and smaller—his soul begins to feel terribly unseen, unappreciated, and dishonored as a Man.

Receptivity ladies, is a HUGE Feminine energetic—going to your Man for help in a heart centered, vulnerable, Feminine way will make him feel Purpose driven in your life and like he is needed as your MAN.

(And I have a feeling you also kind of want him to be that man for you.)

You are always loved,

- Gio

Photo Credit: @isntmainstream

Photo Credit: @isntmainstream

Toxic Men, Players, Narcissists...

Hi beauties,

From a healing perspective,  I don't believe in labeling anyone—and I advocate personal responsibility over pointing the finger—(and I do believe we are throwing labels such as “narcissist” around nowadays as if they are nothing---> however part of being a High Value Woman is being CLEAR on when to walk away and QUICKLY IDENTIFYING red flags…

Knowing how to separate a quality man from a man that needs no more of your time...

If your relationship is painful, your heart keeps being broken over and over, you are disrespected, manipulated, used and mistreated… or you keep attracting men who are showing red flags...

Although all men (and women) will have some baggage, a large percentage of men are just responding to how we show up—and they treat us as a soulmate, a queen or a buddy or booty call depending on how we show up—they are the best mirrors… some men are dangerous, highly toxic, abusive and very dysfunctional… or simply out to get what they want without giving anything much in return….and definitely not worth one ounce of your time beautiful!

When you get good at identifying good, available, quality men—you will be able to know and feel peaceful about walking away into thousands of other options of men from a man who doesn’t deserve any more of your energy.

We love you and want the best for you.

You are always loved,

- Gio

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Men's 2 Biggest Fears When it Comes to Marriage

I hear this a lot from men," I don't know any man who is married and is happy. My best friend was full of life for all the years I knew him. He married this woman who literally keeps him on a leash and his light just went out. He is a ghost of who he was. No man I know who is married feels appreciated, in fact they all tell me they feel neglected and like nothing they do is enough."

"I sometimes feel women are open and beautiful and so fun and playful and as soon as they want commitment or something from you they change, no more fun at concerts and intimate talks, it's like it all just changes."

Entrapment and Obligation are men’s 2 biggest fears when it comes to commitment—when you step into your High Value energy as a woman and irresistible goddess, you learn how it is so easy for us as women to put our happiness on a man and to use obligation to try to get what we want— when we don’t have to do any of that! Your feminine energy and your authentic are so powerful! Powerful enough to inspire all the devotion, commitment, fulfillment, passion, attraction and more with the man who is right for you.

We believe in women showing up in their best for relationships and also receiving the BEST they deserve from men. It goes both ways.

You are always loved,

- Gio

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Ladies, a man wants to feel that you are his escape. His escape from a world of pressure, a world of performance, image and roles…

The Masculine world.

He wants to escape into your world, the Feminine world you bring within you. The place his soul connects, is seen and his spirit recharges through amazing intimacy, sensual connection, free, deep soul friendship, attraction, fun, lightness, acceptance, etc.

If you go out on a date to relax, recharge, be known, get to know a beautiful soul and form intimate connection… the energy flows.

If you go to perform and impress, the energy is blocked, because you are making it all about you… (you being validated, being approved of, being "liked"... ."you, you, you.") When you are in this performance space, your soul is stifled. If your soul is stifled his soul will be stifled. All you'll have left then is physical chemistry or none of it—and you'll both leave emptier, instead of fuller.

Get to know him, and let the date itself give to both of you. Receive.

Photo Credit: mykukula.tumblr.com

Photo Credit: mykukula.tumblr.com

Ladies, while number one above all is healing and learning to truly love yourself (which is why I always teach inner work as it is 85% of the game with men.)

Here are some very basic ground rules for dating like a High Value Woman-' we teach many more in the Institute

→ Do not get infatuated with a man you've just met, after 1, 2, 3, 4 dates. Curb infatuation, look for true alignment.

→ Do not give a guy exclusivity prior to 5 weeks to 3 months until he has proven himself by consistently and lovingly investing in you and actually asked for it.

→ Learn to be a process dater, not an instant gratification (lead by desperation) dater.

→ Do not sleep with a guy prior to 5 - 8 weeks or under 5 dates, to filter out men who are minimal investment or not into the real you. Only sleep with a man who treats you like a Queen, is consistently investing in your life and moving the relationship forward. Quality men will wait (although not forever it differs per man and his values and beliefs).

→ Lean back, lean back, lean back.

→ Mirror a man's investment, do not over give, don't do more than he is doing or ever chase or pursue (if this is a habit, you need inner healing work asap).

→ Do not close all options with other men prior to being exclusive and really knowing a man.

→ Learn to show up radiant, real (being your beautiful, real self), high value, vulnerable and feminine “Man Magnet” do the work here and men will be flocking to you.

→ You can have soulmate feeling chemistry with a man, and it be NOT enough “because he isn't able to give you what you want, so look for alignment, not just feelings and chemistry”' otherwise soul-'shattering heartbreak.

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Don’t use threats to leave or end things, unless you are truly ready to walk away.

Ultimatums Don't Work

"He keeps talking to his exes and I've told him he better stop or else!"
"He hasn't called me in 2 days, when he does I am going to ignore his call and make him pay for it."
"He thinks he can get away with that? I am going to let him have it!"

Being harsh, forceful, aggressive, vengeful—will never work with a man (it doesn’t work on us either!). First of all it's forceful, it's trying to force him, which is masculine and disconnected. You can choose to accept or reject, stay or leave, but coming at him and telling him off is being his mother, not his muse and it just won't work— IT WILL BACKFIRE. This is a habit a lot of us women use to deal with our hurt and pain and to "GET" our way by controlling and forcing others. I get it, it's a habit we've learned in life to survive, but it’s not a habit that sustains partnership long term.

You can become a woman that is easy for a man to lose so much so he feels it and steps up his game. You do that by learning to value yourself, learning the art of attracting abundance in options of quality men (hint we teach you how) and the power of walking away from what isn't for you… however punishing him, reacting on him, passive aggressive behavior, threats and ultimatums do the opposite of what you want. You can address a situation with vulnerability and understanding and then choose to stay or leave.

Punishing a man will never work ladies, punitive behavior doesn’t inspire love. Feminine boundaries set through  inner strength coming from self esteem are the high value way to go.


Photo Credit: indiaearl.com

Photo Credit: indiaearl.com

The Power of Your Feminine Energy

When a woman is disconnected from her feminine energy it shows up in her life, in her love relationship and in her relationships in general. In the absence of her Feminine SOUL a dull pain begins for a woman... a dull pain in her chest where an open, radiating, feminine heart alive, loved, accepted and shining  in its full power should be.

An anxious heavy ball in her gut where her intuition and wild womb should be. This disconnection from her feminine energy leads her to  harden, contract with heavy burdens and over rely on her masculine, forceful energy. Feminine energy is the energy of attraction and magnetism, a woman in her Feminine soul has intimacy with her own self.
And so her marriage begins to slip away and her husband becomes checked out, not present, as a mirror to her own detachment from her own soul. Her boyfriend becomes distant or if she is single, men feel distant, unavailable.
And so she tries harder, more to prove, more to achieve, more to empower, more rules to follow… to being a Goddess.. .but her energetic source emanating from her soul dims, she is mostly in her in her Masculine energy.
And she gets confused because… in her masculine she is energetic, and full of "life" and she does achieve, and she is admired… but something is off… and her instinct knows this… her inner knowing KNOWS and FEELS—there is an empty hole inside her chest.
SHE no longer knows how to ignite a man's heart, because her heart is far from her. She no longer knows the ART of Feminine radiance, Feminine indwelling presence… a gift from her soul for her man, for the world, but first and foremost a gift for her own self- this is how she replenishes herself.

They key to your heart and soul as a woman is to return home to your embracing feminine energy and begin attracting back to you everything you desire for your relationships, love life and more.

You are always loved,

- Gio

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One of the biggest mistakes we make when seeking internal freedom is the attempt to silence voices inside of ourselves, judging them as unworthy, dangerous, ugly and useless.

Every voice inside of us needs to be heard, because when they are heard their origin is validated.

And every voice inside of us originates from a part of us, inside of us, that is responding to an inner need, an inner wound, an inner desire, an inner expression.

If we silence a voice, we silence a part of ourselves, leaving us fragmented... and then we can never be whole.

I think the real way to come to wholeness is to listen to every voice, to every part that is speaking inside of ourselves… and once acknowledging its origin, reclaim every part of ourselves.

We can only do this in the larger context of knowing who we ultimately are, by knowing our ultimate origin is Love.

If you know this, you know that no matter how loud the voice of the inner child, the inner hater, the inner bigot, the inner insecure woman or man… you know that you can trust your ultimate origin to hear this voice, see this part of you, and bring it to ultimate healing and wholeness.

Through hearing and seeing you peel back every layer until you hit your core, your ultimate being, which subsumes every other part of you into its greater self.

As a parent feels safe, deeply empathetic or lovingly annoyed, in hearing the painful screams of a little child in pain, your inner parent is more than able to be with every part of yourself.

You are, ultimately, more encompassing. You are Love.

Photo Credit: @kellymaker

Photo Credit: @kellymaker

If only someone threw us a “real bone” when it comes to learning how to actually do relationship. Relationship or the art of relating to each other is the prerequisite to succeeding at companionship, closeness, commitment, safety and excitement within intimate partnership.

How do you do intimacy?

How emotionally available are you really?

Can you respect your partner’s boundaries? Inspire respect yourself?

How do you communicate?

How do you show up whole instead of a “black hole” sucking out all the good inside your relationship?

We think feelings are all we need but we all know how quickly feelings change with unmet needs, objectification, boundary violation, misinterpretation and more.

Our brain loves to pine instead of grow. To long for instead of mature in Love. Fantasies of relationship or marriage feel good, but the real thing, done well, is so much better.

You are always loved,

- Gio

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"Can You Just Let Me De The Man?

My romantic partners would often say this to me. You see, as a career woman: author, international lecturer, fitness TV personality and entrepreneur my energy can sometimes come across as masculine. The awareness that I have developed through Gio's wisdom has allowed me to connect some powerful dots and understand that I was coming to men as the leader and the initiator. In other words I was relating to men through my masculine energy making it difficult for me to "sit back". It wasn't until I began studying Gio's work that I began realizing that I was becoming very disconnected from my feminine energy and my needs as a woman. Like many women today, I had bought into the mainstream idea that modern women don't need a man. What's fascinating and contradictory is that when it came to my relationships, a part of me showed up in my male "independent" energy, while the other part of me showed up as a "Damsel in distress". Talk about sending mixed messages. I guess there was a part of me that wanted to be protected, but because it conflicted with my idea of what a "modern woman" was, I shamed and dismissed it. The more I am in my Feminine Energy, as Gio teaches, the more my husband has responded by massively stepping up as my protector, wanting to be my provider, taking amazing care of me, listening to me, wanting to do anything he can to make our relationship great! The more feminine I am, the more he wants to protect me. Allowing myself to receive his masculine energy has relaxed me and made me feel safe. It has also confirmed that it is OK to want that masculine energy and that I don't have to feel guilty about it. Gio's work has also reminded me the importance of dropping from my head into my heart and to be playful, affectionate, receptive and sensual with my husband. Gio's teachings are life transformative and incredible for any woman who wants to heal her heart, learn to balance her feminine and masculine energy and improve and transform her love life, marriage and relationships with men!

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Alcohol, Hiding and Micromanaging

Doing Marital coaching with a couple married over 15 years, and I had a conversation in session with the husband…

 

His wife has a habit of being highly controlling and micromanaging. She is always trying to "fix" him. His daughter unstable and disrespectful.

 

He has been...

An Addict. He is now a sober addict.

Started drinking at age 11. I took him on a journey straight back into the heart of that little boy.

The bullying.

The Fear.

The loneliness as he was becoming a man without a father to guide him into manhood.

The first time he had a drink and every fear and insecurity evaporated—as he felt like superman. He felt capable. He felt undefeatable. He finds his masculinity in beer.


The moment in session where I lead him to express gratitude to alcohol instead of shame and judgement—in releasing alcohol he releases the part of himself that has been locked in a prison of self-hatred for becoming an addict.

Then sober—his new addiction—hiding.

I flip it and ask, "Picture your wife as the one who is hiding—as the one telling half truths… she is there, next to you—but her heart is far from you- how do you feel?"


Silence.

"Oh man, wow.......terribly lonely, betrayed, afraid."

Gio: "Then what happens? What do you feel instinctively you want to do?"

Him: "Fix, control, micromanage."

Then I had him feel into his daughter who just turned 12, the mirror to his own 11 year old…

Gio: "How does your daughter feel around her daddy when he hides?"

Him: "Tears. Alone."

Gio: "Isn't that how you felt when you first had your first drink?"

I show him how the shame that drove him to addiction is the same shame that drives him to condemn his addiction, is the same shame he projects on his wife when he hides from her, is the same shame he projects on to his daughter (who just wants to adore her daddy and feel safe with him) when he fights with his daughter.

Wish I could record this session and teach it as a master marriage counseling class- it was packed with truth after truth of what it means to love yourself and family.

You are always loved,


- Gio


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Deal Sex, as my friend put it

I was talking to one of my best girlfriends, a very successful and brilliant woman who loves what we teach and has her own sharp insights after working around men, in a male dominated industry for a long time. We were talking about how often men propositioned women in the business world for fleeting trysts that never meant anything and how she would always see the same recurring theme. A man would come into town, take a woman out, wine and dine her and then disappear.

The woman would spend a couple of dates in and sleep with him and think she had fallen in love. For men the fantasy is in the moment, for women the fantasy would begin the moment the man left. Both projecting on to each other their fantasies, and not reality. It would go like this: Man takes woman out on date, tells her he's never met anybody like her, lavishes wining and dining, they have a great weekend and then come Monday it's back to reality for him, and for her it's the start of her fantasy....

"Is he the one?"

"I am in love!"

"I've never met anyone like him."

It's "deal" sex, as my friend from Wallstreet put it. Now you can be tempted to think men are wrong for doing this—but they aren't any more wrong or right, than women pining, obsessing and fantasizing afterwards.... They are the two sides of the same coin—projection of fantasies instead of reality. He throws caution to the wind in front of a beautiful face, she throws caution to the wind by filling in the gap of whatever isn't there when he is gone. Whatever isn't there: Consistent pursuit, actually knowing the guy, courtship, etc.

This is SO dangerous ladies! This is why pacing in dating is vital and crucial! This is why a High Value Woman does not early attach! She knows how to keep herself grounded, high value, confident, receiving—and date her way into the best romantic decision of her life-w here her well-being is her top priority. A High Value Woman learns to make the best choices for herself—and isn't lead by instant gratification....

So repeat after me:

"It's a man's high value, invested consistent actions (not words) towards me over a period of time that determine whether I will commit to him."

Pacing is your best friend—instead of deal sex as my friend so eloquently described all of this in our conversation today. Get REAL DEAL Relationships... love you!

You are always loved,

- Gio