Hi beauties,

How to create intense attraction with men by allowing natural consequences to take root.

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Let's talk about the importance of consequences-
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Especially in your relationships with men.

Now consequences are not punishment. Consequences are NOT punitive behavior. Consequences are not ATTACK, or games or manipulation or gaslighting or flying off the handle.

Consequences are the natural "consequence" of an action or lack of action.

Without natural consequences, a man will become more and more self-asborbed in the relationship, self centered and it will bring out narcissistic behavior in him much like parents who spoil a child, and spoil a child, prevent him from all responsibility and consequences create a n environment that leads to self absorbed and narcissistic behavior in the child.

So let's look at examples:
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A man treats a woman like a booty call, uses her for sex.

-> Natural consequences would be: She loses interest and opens herself up to higher quality men. (High Value)

-> Punitive behavior: She lashes out and gives him ultimatums.

-> Low value behavior: She lashes out, gives him ultimatums, but goes right back to accepting crumbs and his stepping all over her boundaries with no respect towards her worth.

Result: He loses attraction for her, values her less and less, uses her, loses respect for her and waits to find a High Vale Woman he can really fall head over heels in love with and commit with all of his devotion. She thinks she is keeping him, when she is just being used and is already losing him. Short term gratification- long term pain.

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Think of consequences as the natural actions that happen -action- reaction. Think of punitive behavior as more "words and talking" with no action or substance backing them.

Another example:
A man cheats on his girlfriend and lies repeatedly----
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Consequences: She lets herself feel her emotions, processes them, has a conversation with him, listens to understand, sets her boundaries and walks away from the relationship (either for a period of time like 6 months, or indefinitely). In the mean time she focuses on herself while he either spends a lot of time earning trust with her back before ever getting back into relationship with a LOT of investment). When she sees him she is open, mature, listening, expressing her raw pain and real emotions, but does not get in the way of the responsibility he needs to carry and the work he needs to do. (clear action and meaningful, substance driven words).

-> Punitive behavior: She calls him horrible insults, bashes him, tries to undermine him at his job, weaponizes her pain. (words no action)

-> Low value behavior: Punitive behavior + doormat---
------boundary less, she goes right back to taking him back, allowing him to understand that in this relationship her desperation allows him to get away with anything because her fear of being alone, her commitment to her scarcity beliefs and her unworthiness don't allow her to walk away. (no boundaries, no self-respect).

Results: He begins to fall out of love with her, loses attraction, checks out emotionally, makes himself the center of the relationship- as she gives and gives to him (becomes the primary giver and bends over backwards for him). She does all the work in the relationship- he checks out other women, is attracted to other high value women to whom he gives his best to. He leaves relationship.

Another example: A man is dating a woman but he hasn't committed yet.
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-> Consequences: She mirrors his commitment, but doesn't cling or wait on him, she owns her life and sets herself up to win= she opens up options and chooses the best for herself. She takes care of herself. When she is with him, they have the best time together, when she isn't, she is creating her best life.
-> Punitive behavior: Stalking his social media, getting resentful, suspicious, angry, clingy, desperate, losing self esteem and acting out of lack of self-respect (punitive towards herself).
->Low value behavior: Gives him an ultimatum which she doesn't mean (she isn't really ready to walk away), but then goes right back to accepting behavior she doesn't feel comfortable with and takes NO action on her behalf.

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Humans NEED consequences, these are what teach us fundamentally about relationship.

No consequences mean we don't SEE the person we are in relationship with. We know an oven is an oven because it burns when touched with raw fingers- so we don't do it. We know how to value things we can lose if we don't care for.

Consequences teach us to no longer be self-absorbed and to see the impact we have on the world around us. We show up with low value- the world rejects that. We show up with value to offer, the world embraces that.

Consequences are the universal regulation system that keeps all eco systems in healthy relationship to each other. It applies to every living thing.

Consequences force us to grow up and BECOME what we are meant to be.

--> A man needs consequences to truly respect (and therefore fall in love passionately) with a woman.
Remember consequences ARE NOT PUNISHMENT. We aren't a man's mother. Consequences are the natural reaction to a positive or negative action-

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Example:

Losing interest when we aren't given high value investment from a man, with no punitive behavior and gently moving on to take care of ourselves and staying open minded to understand what created the situation in the first place, and if we played any part (femininity = open mindedness to understand and learn.)
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If a man is low investment, don't punish him, rather tune in to the natural consequence there connected to your highest self-esteem- own your life, and open yourself up to better. This will cause him to step up with more, there IS NOTHING THAT WILL WAKE HIM UP MORE POWERFULLY TO YOUR VALUW, WORTH AND MAGNETISM.

---AND IT WILL ALSO CAUSE better men to step in.

And finally, think of it this way:
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-> Consequences: "What do I need to do right now for my wellbeing?"

-> Punishment: "How do I make him pay?" Or "Make him...anything....?"

->LV Behavior: "What do I do so I don't lose him no matter how he treats me?"

Punitive behavior always KILLS HIS LOVE AND RESPECT 
FOR YOU IN THE LONG RUN and LV BEHAVIOR ALWAYS KILLS ATTRACTION AND PASSION.... They may seem falsely to work in the short run- but the boomerang effect is they work to kill the relationship.

High Value behavior always increases irresistibility, LOVE, passion, attraction, magnetism and more.
And as you may have noticed, a woman that walks away, prioritizes her well begin, stays open to learn and essentially abides by consequences IS the woman with the highest self worth- therefore she is of High Value= attraction generator.

Want a man to see you as HIGH VALUE and cherish you every step of the way= be a woman who walks away- and prioritizes herself- and watch him feel magnetized and fall ever more deeply in love.

You are always loved,

Gio

From my cohost Justin Devonshire In our Men's Group: Modern Masculinity:
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"A conversation with a female friend about relationships the other day...

Her: “Things haven’t been working out with my boyfriend for a while, why do I keep attracting the same kind of guy? He’s lazy, plays video games all day, doesn’t make decisions etc,”
Me: (giving input because I do know her and her partner quite well and understand their situation) : “There a plenty of factors, but because this isn’t a ‘coaching session’ I’ll strip it down to one basic - he’s been too feminine. And you’ve been too masculine.”
Her: “What’s wrong with being feminine?!” 😡
Me: Nothing. Being TOO feminine is the problem. I.e- out of balance.
Her: “That doesn’t make sense..”
Me: Ok, water is good for you right? Well what if you drank TOO much water, like 15 gallons in the next hour. Would that not be a problem?
Her: “ah I see...”
Me: He’s stepped into the role of receiver, and you into the role of provider. Which is the opposite to how nature intends it.
Women are the predominant receivers, of love, affection, sex, desire, vibration, emotion, senses, and intuition. Women crave to be in their intuition allowing the flow of life.
While men are the predominant providers of protection, physical strength, material items, building and creation. Men crave to be using their gifts of intention & strength to create, to build and to serve women who’ll receive them.
Her: “So you’re saying women can’t build things or have intention?”
Me: Again, think water. Just because I said you could drink water doesn’t mean you can’t drink lemonade.
Her: “...so how do I make him be more masculine and find more ambition and drive?”
Me: You can’t. But you can help yourself become more feminine, allowing, and give him the space to step into his masculine role.
Her: how?

Me: -> By letting him make decisions.
-> By not making him feel inferior for not making a decision.
-> By not acting like his mom.
-> By not cleaning up after him.
-> By allowing him the opportunity to create something for himself. And not immediately stepping in to take charge when he doesn’t.

Her: “...but what if I give him that space, and work on me, and he doesn’t step up..?”
Me: “You already know the answer to that. If you’ve given him the space... and you’ve shown support and encouragement for him to step into it... and he still refuses to take responsibility...
Then you’re building a life with a low value man. Either that’s your standard, or you create a new standard - that you’ll only give your time and energy to a high value man that does meet your standards.”

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Share, Don't Impose

Hi beauties,

Share- don't impose! Men pull away from women who try to change them and are irresistibly drawn to women who accept them for who they are.

It is so easy to come on too strong- in this way and then have a man pull away ( 3 weeks in or months or years in).

As women we can be very passioante about the things we believe in-

It could be healthy eating and exercise, our lady boss lifestyles, our religious beliefs- or simply how we see and want to live in the world.

When you are dating a man it is very easy to begin encroaching on his space (leaning into his space) and forget to respect him as a grown man, and respect his own decision making.

You can share WITHOUT IMPOSING......

So let's pretend a woman is really into healthy eating- she loves to detox and do her thing. She and her man go to the supermarket together-

IMPOSING: "you should really start eating healthier, you should replace your meal with this ______________"

Sharing: "I love this because it helps me with this and tastes really good!"

Quality men value respect for their decisions almost more than anything and usually have- set routine, with set preferences he has dialed in for years- it's not our job to come in and change him.

Remember men want to please you as women when they are falling in love with you- and that may mean they jump on board with things-

like throwing out toxic home products 
or trying out a laptop lifestyle
or doing a new health cleanse with you 
or changing their diet 
or routine....
However as I taught in our incredibly popular Men Who Take It Slow-The path to Commitment With Men- men have a conscious and unconscious masculine driver- and if they wake up 3 months after dating a woman and see their life completely changed-

They will feel very emasculated (even if THEY asked for things!)....

I know- you might say, "but he asked!"

Remember the Gold in pacing. Share, don't change him, don't mold him, don't impose.
So, my tip for you is- be gentle and slow in your desire to influence a man- and do just that, influence by how you live your life, do not impose or tell him "That food isn't healthy!"

Do you, eat healthy, your radiance and health will speak volumes to him, inspire him and over time he may change (or he may not).

Your job is to accept a man as he is, or reject and move on to another.
A healthy couple influences each other daily, however men refer to a marriage as "ball in chain" when his freedom to be himself is smothered."

PACE merging and influencing....and you will inspire a man into his best and he will love you for it.

You are always loved,
Gio

The deep pain you feel

Hi Beautiful,

So many of you share with me the deep pain you feel- you know that pain you bury in staying busy and distracted with work, family or kids....the pain you bury under exhilarating feelings of being independent and being able to do whatever you want with your life....that pain that is slowly burning underneath long to do's, pursuing passions, traveling the world... Have you considered what it means to do nothing today?

The pain that comes with the question: "Will I ever have love with the man of my dreams?"

The problem is when that pain surfaces we do one of 2 things- we distract or we hit walls.

We distract from how much we want this......as I listed above...or we take unstrategic, unguided shots in the dark (like throwing spaghetti on the wall to see what will stick) and as we experience:

Another guy we are into pulling away and disappearing.
Only attracting mediocre men that don't do it for us.
The guys we are into seemingly not being interested in us.
Another weekend lone with no date in sight.
Another wedding celebrating your bestie, but feeling profoundly sad on the inside.

Distraction or walls....but no solutions....

Why babe?

Because solutions require something of us don't they?

They require we face our pain, get our of our comfort zone and actually DO something about our life.

It requires us to grow, to invest time and show real commitment to figuring the root causes of why things aren't working out for us in the way we dream.

It's easier to blame men, it's easier to give up on love (or at least say we do when we don't)......Solutions require ownership, responsibility, willingness to change from deep within, willingness to learn how to truly love the other....

We want to attract men that DO something when the time requires it- men of commitment, men who are self-responsible, men who grow to the challenege- and that usually takes a woman who is living like that to attract it.

What happens when we truly do nothing? Nothing changes beauty.

What if you could know that at the end of your work day you go home to your loving man whom you felt totally secure and safe with, your best friend and companion to share the end of your day and it felt amazing to do so?

What if you know that the instant your tire deflates or car breaks down or you feel unsafe you have your Man on speed dial who would do anything to keep you protected and safe?

What if you have your best friend and Man to do life with, through all the ups and the downs and could go to him with anything?

BEcoming a High Value Woman is about learning what valye is- first how to value ourselves really (as self-esteem, self-respect and self-love are basically everything) and then learning how to bring a lot of value to a relationship- form the way we communicate to the way we show up day to to day...

If you haven't applied yet to our incredible Embodied Feminine Woman Institute where we teach you the exact roadmap to attract and keep love and devotion from your dream man, PM Gergana Martinova today!

You are always loved,

Gio

Why Women Walk Away - Part 2

Why Women Walk Away Part 2- Signs...

(Bear in mind this is only a short, condensed post, you could write a book about this, and all the nuances, and differences, etc.)

--->Red Flags a woman is wanting to walk away--->

Stages 1-4

While a woman is still checked in to her marriage, she tends to be very aware of how close you both feel to each other and invests herself in your relationship. It is her priority, she cares a lot and shows it or expresses it.

She makes sure to let you know you both need quality time together, she asks you questions and expresses her desire to talk openly and about everything with each other, she wants to do things with you all the time, she looks for activities to do and shared interests and things in common. She tends to you, is typically more nurturing and care taking of your needs and wants. She cares about how you feel and your heart.

As she begins to feel the relationship become less and less of a priority to you, and you are investing less of yourself than is healthy (caveat here healthy, a woman who is very needy will never get enough) the second stage is she will feel the pull away and turn from expression to nagging, to controlling, she will want to talk things out a lot more "We need to talk", she will want to check in and ask questions to see how you are doing- questions go from carefree and curious to somewhat invasive and feeling more interrogation- like. She will begin picking at you- finding fault with you, maybe start fights.....she withholds sex to punish you.
(again none of her coping mechanisms work on you because they don't work on anyone- but these are the signs)

The third stage she begins to become anxious all the time, it is a daily thing now, she now goes from bothered about something to straight in to rage or flying off the handle, she seems excessively emotional, a roller coaster. She may become depressed, let herself go, bitter, and condescending (lack of respect here fueled by her pain.) She may now no longer want to have sex with you anymore, she isn't turned on.

And the final stage- Checked out. She starts to imagine leaving (and whining to herself, "I'll leave when my kids get to college." or "When I finish my Phd." She may still seem anxious and overbearing, but she is distant, she doesn't care, she lets things go she usually does for you around the house- though you may not perceive a ton different at this stage. Marriage typically has been sexless for a while (although some couples do have sex but no connection). She has been forming her breakup or divorce strategy for quite some time and thinking about how to go about it. The absence of her typical nagging and typical complaining and fighting lulls her husband into a false belief that things have been appeased and are better. Then she drops the "I want a divorce" on the man and he either hits rock bottom, realizes her value to his life and heart and begins to fight for her and invest in the way she wanted in the relationship or he agrees and moves on (or even worse, throws tantrums and plays the victim.)

Being too eager and oversharing too soon

Being too eager and oversharing too soon...
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One of the signs in the early dating process that a woman is projecting her idealized parent on to a man she's met (idealizing him, putting him on pedestal, etc). is divulging too much vulnerable information at once.

If you get still enough with yourself you will see it is a deep need for validation and approval. Now this isn't about sharing openly and creating a deep connection, this is when you share so openly you say things like:

"I have a terrible relationship with my parents."
"I'm new to the city and I am so lonely."
"I'm succeeding in business but it's so hard."
"I want a relationship but I am so scared of intimacy."
"I want to trust men, but they can often be so not worthy of my time."

But the energy here is that you are divulging because you are fishing.....for something.... pity, compassion, empathy and really his love.

You know you are doing this when you feel yourself fishing, trying to get his sympathy or protection.

What you are fishing for is his love, validation and rescue....

This is where our wounded girl " rescue fantasy" gets triggered- we put someone on a pedestal, thinking they can meet our deep "void" and needs.

It's part of what triggers the intense neediness and overall disempowerment.

It's the constant search of the wounded child for the love, validation and approval of the missing parent.

Wanting him to rescue you from being in charge of your own life.
Wanting him to rescue from financial resposnsibility.
Wanting him to rescue you from social isolation or patterns of constant broken friendships and relationships.

It's subtle but it happens ALL of the time.

Too much, too soon, bringing out the skeletons in the closet- often means you are dating from your wounded child, not your powerful adult- and fully embodied woman.
This falls under the category of low value vulnerability, you want healthy vulnerability, vulnerability that comes from a healthy place. To learn how to have healthy vulnerability which ignites a man's heart and soul-- Join our powerful Embodied Feminine Woman Institute.

You are always loved,

Gio